The government - or the majority of 288 individuals-also-known-as Democrats that represent you - has decreed that you want 35 mpg.

Baloney. If you wanted 35 mpg you’d buy it. For less than you spent on a Ram.

Seriously, who doesn’t want 35 mpg, especially if all else remains equal?

But it doesn’t remain equal.

There are at least three car models sold in the U.S. that have combined EPA averages of 35 mpg or higher (two are gas-electric hybrids) and at least five more that rate an EPA city or highway figure of 35 or better, but not necessarily combined. None of them tows much more than 1,000 pounds.

Stop. Take your hand off the mouse and inhale deeply.

The new CAFE rules are a lot like the old ones, and the Department of Transportation’s NHTSA division still has significant details to iron out. There will be exemptions—like those machine-gun-toting Suburbans that Washington bigshots like to drive around with, and loopholes big enough to drive a Freightliner loaded with PT Cruiser “trucks” through.

It’s an election year, meaning lots of suits farting through their mouths about "future this and change that," which history suggests won’t make it to the White House anyway. One suit claims to have “always been opposed” to the Iraq war but didn’t get elected to the Senate until after the war began, and reportedly drives a Chrysler 300 known for neither efficiency nor tow rating.

In the eyes of many states, the current administration has no energy and environment policy. California started trouble and other states joined in; recently New York has proposed a carbon emissions surcharge (essentially a gas guzzler tax at the state level), Washington fees on engine size and carbon emissions, and Hawaii a fee on engine size (I hope their “engine size greater than 200 cubic centimeter” (0.2 liter) is a misprint.) You know that Hawaii, miles from anywhere in fair breezes, has a serious air pollution problem: We call them volcanoes.

Money-mag pundits have said you need a 1750-pound vehicle for that 35 mpg. Bull. Critics have said you won’t get it with today’s technology. Ditto. Others have said it’s 10 years away, though in the last 10 years fuel economy was stable while power and weight soared. One member of the Union of Concerned Scientists says it’ll cost $1500—so might a tire by 2020—but it’s not a big leap in technology.

Cars outside the U.S. already get 35 mpg. A very cursory review of some world cars found midsize diesel sedans/wagons and a minivan that average 35+ mpg and top 120 mph. How fast do you need to go? Citroen’s big, stylish C6 will do 35 mpg average on diesel power, and a 140 hp/237 lb-ft VW Golf will do 35 in the city and near 50 on the highway.

Trucks aren’t going to get 35 mpg without big drops in aero drag and friction and many more gears. But a “national average fuel economy” could go up 20% simply by improving driving habits without going slower. And if you’ve got just one trailer, why do you need two or more big diesel pickups? Why did you choose the most efficient truck but drive around with your programmer set on “nuclear”?

Kevin Cameron will address fuel economy standards in Issue 60. In the meantime, what’s your excuse for not wanting 35 mpg?