An acquaintance recently used “dumb” to describe Chrysler’s new stuff -- Challenger, Durango/Aspen Hybrids, and ‘09 Ram –because they are among Chrysler’s least-efficient vehicles. True, timing is unfortunate, but after explaining they were developed long before gasoline went gold, I started dumb things with his Toyota.

The early 4Runner four-door had a wagon-style rear window that retracted into the tailgate. Wash the back window and most of the dirt and mud swept up by the wiper rolled right back down the window when the wiper lifted off the glass to park. That’s dumb.

Roof-mounted satellite radio antennae on pickups designed for campers is dumb. How will a signal lost in trees get through a mass of wood, aluminum and other synthetic material?

A Suburban I tested had a $100 option third-row, three-person split bench seat, but is split 50/50. Why not 60/40 so you could fold a side and still carry two back there? And you had pay extra for the dumb thing.
Chrysler will build minivans for VW to sell as Routans. Chrysler will move more minivans and amortize costs sooner and VW dealers have a van to sell. But not a van you’d expect from VW, and dealers will have to buy tools and software/updates/licensing to service them. Could be more hassle than it’s worth, and dumb.

The Challenger I drove had keyless operation so you could leave it in your pocket in the car. But unlike other cars, there was no pushbutton or lift handle trigger to lock or unlock it so you still had to fumble with the key getting in and out. Dumb. And did you know “pedals” are standard on the Challenger? Cost cutting must be getting out of hand…or foot.

Websites with little car knowledge are doing bits on “hypermiling” that include switching the car off and coasting. Illegal in some states, it would make it hard to steer a Ram. Others suggest shifting into Neutral, but this will cost gas in most new cars since fuel is shut off under deceleration but not in Neutral. Curious none has suggested most normally-aspirated engines are driven most efficiently at wide-open throttle to 2000-2200 rpm, probably because you need a manual gearbox (or Infiniti 7-speed auto) to do it.

Bloggers said one major auto magazine has been bought by BMW because of the outcome of some comparison tests. In those cases where I’ve driven all those compared, I’d probably name the BMW too.

Another major magazine in their long-term fleet roundup noted anything with range of less than 350-400 miles should be “outlawed” even at 14 mpg. Of the reviewed 8 long-termers only 4 had range more than 350 miles at their as-tested mileage; the truck generating the comment was one of them and their Car of the Year was not. Only an expensive sedan met the 400-mile value. Dumb?

In early July Dodge showed the new Ram in Nashville, TN, Nissan’s new home base. Given the Chrysler/Nissan talks on pickups is this coincidence, or just dumb?

What are your favorite dumb car things?