Ordering a new truck

[Kirwin]

I am getting ready to order (probably September) a new 3500, Quad Cab, dually, set up for towing my 11,500 GVW travel trailer. I've looked at the brochure (pretty disapointed in how little the one they gave me talks about the things that really matter in a tow vehicle) but I am more interested in what the TDR members think. I'm Considering the 3.73 ratio with the HO 6 speed combination. I know that according to Dodge this reduces my GCWR to 21K. Has anyone actually weighed there Quad cab 4X4 dually by itself? if I take 11,500 from 21,000 that leaves me 9,500. Heck my 97 2500 weighs that much when its loaded for a trip with the trailer and I don't have that 100 gallon fuel tank I want yet!
My other concern is that my trailer is a pull behind (vice a 5th wheel) and the hitch receiver I imagine is only rated for 10K. I got around this on my 97 by installing a 12K hitch. Does anyone know if there is an after market receiver style hitch for the 03 Ram that rated at 12K or more? I've looked under a few of them and the hitch appears to just bolt on. Also looked at a friends that the Dodge dealer had welded the 5th wheel hitch brackets to the frame. I thought that welding to the frame was a no-no. But then I looked at a single rear wheel 3500 which as I understand it is the only way you can get the extra helper springs and low an behold the spring pads that the helper springs hit on are welded to the frame at the factory!!! So confusing! I am also interested in what options you have on your truck that you like or thought were a waste of money. Thanks Ken Irwin.