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US/Iranian relations after 9/11
This was sent to me by a friend who did 6 months in the sand with the Marines. He says it's funnier if you think of Eric Cartman doing the US; I think it's funnier if you imagine Ahmadinejad (sp?) doing the Iran. This isn't meant to be taken seriously!
IRAN: Wow! I’m not saying you deserved that …
U.S.: Shut up.
IRAN: But you kinda deserved that.
U.S.: Shut up!
IRAN: Infidel. Hey, what’re you — what’s that on my right?
U.S.: …
IRAN: Are you invading Afghanistan?
U.S.: Yup. Hey, you better not be developing nukes.
IRAN: Oh, we’re not.
U.S.: Okay. Because you’re evil.
IRAN: Me?
U.S.: You’re part of an axis of evil. You, Iraq, and North Korea.
IRAN: Really?
U.S.: Oh yeah.
IRAN: We don’t even like Iraq. For godsakes, we just got done with a
giant war with them.
U.S.: Nevertheless.
IRAN: And North Korea? I don’t really know those guys.
U.S.: You better not be developing nukes.
IRAN: Well …
U.S.: BAM! IRAN: What was that!? On the left side?
U.S.: Nothing.
IRAN: It wasn’t nothing. You … you invaded Iraq, didn’t you?
U.S.: Maybe.
IRAN: Not maybe. There you are, right over the fence.
U.S.: Well, we thought they were going to develop nuclear weapons.
IRAN: Were they?
U.S.: Lemme check.
IRAN: …
U.S.: No. No they weren’t. But we thought they were. Let that be a
lesson to you.
IRAN: Oh, it will be. I’m frickin’ surrounded now!
U.S.: Yeah.
IRAN: I mean what’re you gonna do next? Invade Turkmenistan?
U.S.: Possibly.
IRAN: Well, feel free. That guy is nuts.
U.S.: …
IRAN: Let me ask you something. Why didn’t you level North Korea?
U.S.: North Korea?
IRAN: Yeah, you know … the other Axis of Evil country that’s not
us.
U.S.: Oh. Well, they have nukes. That basically makes them uninvadable.
IRAN: I see.
U.S.: So the lesson here is “Don’t develop nukes.”
IRAN: Uh……. yeah. Sure. That’s what I’m takin’ away from it.
U.S.: …
IRAN: Man, you really ****** off some of your allies on your way in,
didn’t you?
U.S.: They were weak. Who cares? Freedom fries for all!
IRAN: Interesting.
U.S.: Why?
IRAN: Oh, no reason.
U.S.: …
IRAN: Having some troubles over there?
U.S.: Shut up.
IRAN: Insurgency, huh? Man, I hate those.
U.S.: Would you shut up?
IRAN: …
U.S.: …
IRAN: Man, it looks bad. Like you won’t be able to invade anyone else
for … what? Like 3 or 4 years?
U.S.: At least. This is not going as planned.
IRAN: What was the plan?
U.S.: Shut up.
IRAN: … at least three years, huh?
U.S.: …
IRAN: …
U.S.: Hey, what’re you doing?
IRAN: Nothing.
U.S.: You’re… you’re developing nukes, aren’t you?
IRAN: No.
U.S.: You are.
IRAN: Okay, yes.
U.S.: A-ha!
IRAN: Just for peaceful purposes, though.
U.S.: Really. I don’t buy it.
IRAN: No, really. We just want to make nuclear power plants. Believe me, the last thing we want to do is take advantage of this pickle you’re in next door in Iraq and next door in Afghanistan and with your fractured alliances and overcommitted military … to develop nuclear weapons and thus ensure that you won’t invade us. Believe me,
that’s the last thing on our minds.
U.S.: ….
IRAN: …
U.S.: Now you’re making fun of me.
IRAN: Yeah. We’re making nukes.
U.S.: God d*** it!
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'The Religious Right is made of people who have lived on their land for generations, they have unchanging values, the salt of the earth people, you know, MORONS!' - stolen shamelessly from Blazing Saddles!
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