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The economy Stimulus Package explained
email funny:
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic
Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I
will explain using the Q and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China .
Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the
money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating
the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy
of China ?
"A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help
the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money
will go to China .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to
Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy
organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea
.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to
India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in
Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to
Nigeria .
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America . You
can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales,
going to a baseball game, or spend it
on prostitutes, domestic beer, or tattoos, since those
are the only business's still in the US
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